surrender to darkness Page 3

  “As your mother reminds me daily,” he said, throwing his hands up in disgust. “’They had to know her’, she tells me. ‘They had to do what was best for them.’ One day you will be in charge of all this, and then what, Christian? We cannot show favorites. We cannot bend the laws to work them in our favor. Isn’t that why we’re here in the first place? Because that’s exactly the type of leader Dumont is!”

  I stifled the rage inside me, clamping it down by gnashing my teeth together. I turned, my hands digging into the chair back in front of me. I could feel my teeth try to puncture my gums. I struggled against my nature, hoping to calm myself before I faced him again.

  “They did not break any laws, Gregor,” Isabelle said, speaking for the first time. “They brought her here in the only way they knew how, which was as a guard. They didn’t turn her without her, or the Council’s, consent.”

  Gregor turned sad eyes toward her. “You are only making my point for me, my love. They brought her here as a guardian and, as such, is capable, fully capable, of accepting this task if Lex and Samuel should choose her to fight for us. What would you both have me do? Secret her away? With all of you as well? Don’t you think in my heart I would have it that way? But what about showing our people what we stand for? If you all run away, what kind of message does it give to those who stand with me?”

  I closed my eyes. I didn’t disagree with him. In fact, I agreed with him with every fiber of my being. But as a lover, as someone who cared about someone more than my own self, I wanted her as far away from here as possible. I wasn’t thinking rationally, and I knew it.

  “There is nothing to be done,” Gregor said. His voice evened out. His steps moved closer to mine, and a heavy hand fell on my shoulders. “I am truly sorry, Son. I don’t want any more people to die than already have. I have come to care for Ariana as well. She is exactly what we need as we move into this next phase if we win. But, so aren’t all the other names mentioned earlier. Isn’t T.J., and Lex, and Samuel, and Zeke, and Peter and Luke’s lives as equally as worth living? What of their families? If they could, they would be by my side in an instant pleading their case as you have done, but my answer would be the same. If chosen, we have given them a great honor and great responsibility. Win or lose, they will be admired in our present, and in our future. All we can do for them now is pray for their strength, and for their mind, and for their will so that it might be stronger than their opponent that day.” He cleared his throat. “Just go be with her, my son. While you have the chance.”

  His hand squeezed my shoulder before his footsteps took him from the room. Mother was there in an instant, taking my face in her long, slender fingers. Where Father always held true to his rules, Mother was right behind him with a comforting word. It had been that way since we were children. They loved us in their own way, and that didn’t change even though Father didn’t give me what I wanted. I knew that if he could, he would.

  “He is very tired, Christian. Very tired. Checkov leaving—”

  “I know,” I said. I never cared for the man, but he had been with my father for many years. To know that he was against him all this time must have been breaking my father from the inside out.

  “Ariana is very strong.”

  “I don’t doubt her skills, or strength. But she can only be as good as she can be. The other fighter might be better.”

  “Or they might be worse. I know you’ve always felt my feelings to be absurd.”

  “That’s not…” I shook my head, but she already had her hand held out to stop my next thought.

  “I don’t care that you don’t believe in it. I do.” She cupped my chin. “Everything will be fine.”

  She smiled, and I couldn’t help but follow suit. Her emotions cut into me unlike any other.

  “We understand how much Ariana means to all of you, and as your father said, she means a great deal to us as well. I’ve come to think of her as a daughter, Christian. Unless I’ve read everything wrong, I believe she may very well be my actual daughter one day.” She lifted her eyebrows to look at me, and I felt my face turn red, which only deepened her smile. “I’m not just speaking lightly here. Everything will work out fine. She will be safe. You can count on it.”

  My mother walked from the room, her dress just barely whispering across the floor as she exited through the Council room to the main estate. I swallowed the thick clog of failure that had been working its way up my throat. It was a last resort. One desperate plea to ensure Ariana’s safety. On one hand, I knew it wouldn’t work, but on the other, I just had to try. I fell into the chair and laid my head on the wood table, grasping onto hope with one outstretched hand. It was what Ariana was always talking about. That if we had hope, we had something. It was much better than fear, or sadness, or worse, pitying oneself.

  Where there was an Ariana, that was one thing I would always have, hope.

  She’d lifted my brothers up before she even knew we existed, and she kept doing it now, falling for us one right after the other until we were one unit, a family. Yes, hope was one thing I would always have when I had her. She was like a bright, shining star, glimmering in the distance just for us.

  Chapter Five

  Four princes in my bed. A girl could get used to this.

  Connor was there first, of course, but they all showed up over the course of a few hours, Christian last. One by one, they snuggled in, their heads either next to mine on the pillows or near my hips, their hands cradling my thighs or calves, or resting against my breast—Nicolai. None of us said a word as we allowed the others to join us, making room in this world that was ours, and ours alone. We judged time by the noise level of the crowd beneath my window and the darkening of the room.

  As if by some predetermined understanding, we all sat up at the same time. I took them in one right after the other. Nicolai, his features surprisingly dark and sad as he looked at me, and then looked away. Stephan, his stunning emerald eyes catching me in his grasp and almost refusing to let me go. Connor, his tilted, wary smile made that much more perfect in his attempt to be happy for me. Then, Christian, his serious demeanor almost wistful, sad as we looked at one another.

  At times, I thought he was the strongest, but like many strong-willed men, they usually had a kryptonite, something that could bring them to their knees in an instant. I hated that I was that for him. It made me push off the bed and stop wallowing. “Your father needs training. I’m not saying it’s going to come down to that, but if it does…”

  “Already on it,” Nicolai said. “Dad and I met up in the training room earlier to go through some things. He’s actually not as bad as you might think.” Connor raised his eyebrows at his brother, but Nicolai ignored him. “He’s quick. That’s going to be his strength. If we can capitalize on that…” Nicolai shrugged, leaving his comment hanging there. I was sure every one of us in the room finished that sentence in our own way. For me, it was ‘If we can capitalize on that, he might not die.’ But in reality, I was hoping it wouldn’t come down to that.

  “Great,” I said. “T.J.—”

  “T.J. and Soren were in the training rooms when we were in there. Soren was very helpful. I took notes, in case…”

  A cold shiver ran down my spine. In case I needed it… “Good idea. When will the rest of the fighters be chosen? No matter who they are, they’ll have to be prepped. The sooner we know, the better. Soren’s agreed to help out. We can take advantage of that.”

  The princes looked around at one another until we were finally all staring at Christian. He sighed. “Soon, I think. Lex and Samuel are making the final decisions and they went off by themselves after the meeting. I wouldn’t be surprised if they already know.”

  The fist tightened the knot in my stomach again, turning it and turning it. “Okay. So, we’re good on that front. What else do we need to do?”

  After a few moments of us looking at one another, Connor raised his hands in defense. “Don’t look at me, I was making the princess happy.�
��

  Nicolai rolled his eyes. A shadow passed over Christian’s face, and Stephan just shook his head. He stepped forward a little. “I set up a triage tent. In case…”

  I smiled at him. “Great idea, Stephan. Just because we’re going to win every fight doesn’t mean the fighters aren’t going to be injured. Good thinking.”

  His cheek bones turned a ruddy red.

  “Actually, Ri,” Nicolai said, interrupting the moment. “We only need to win the first three. Best out of four. We win the first three, no need for the fourth fight.”

  A new excitement spread out over my limbs. I hadn’t thought about that. If we won the first three fights, we could spare the fourth fighter. On both sides. And the thought of sending in Gregor would be a bad memory on top of that. “I’m sure they know this, but in case anyone asks, we need our best three fighters at the top of the lineup. T.J. is a great start. He’s the best besides Lex.”

  “Then Lex will probably be next,” Nic suggested. “I mean, I don’t really know, but that’s how I would do it. The others are up in the air as far as I could tell at the meeting. T.J. and Lex are the best. The others are…negotiable.”

  Despite what it meant, I couldn’t help narrowing my eyes at Nicolai as he spoke. I’d hoped he thought I was one of the best fighters, and the fact that he hadn’t come right out and said it, hurt. On the same token, he could’ve just been avoiding saying it because we all knew what that meant.

  I smiled at all of them. “No matter what happens, we’re all going to be okay.”

  “We know that, Ri.”

  Christian looked away, his jaw working. I strode up to him, the rest of the guys tensing as I took hold of Christian’s chin. Nicolai cocked his head toward the door at the rest of his brothers. “Just don’t be long, Ri. T.J. wants to see you before he goes out there. I don’t think we have much time now.”

  I nodded, waiting until the door clicked behind the other princes, and then looked Christian in the eye. I pulled myself on my tiptoes to get a better advantage, but there was still a bit of a height difference. “Everything is going to be fine, Christian. You have to start believing that.”

  A fury of red crept up his neck, and a vein feathered there. “We all said that about Jake, too, and we know what happened then.”

  Refusing to still look at me, I bent his head down. “I refuse to believe that all this happened to us just to be taken away at the first sight of some difficulty.”

  “Some difficulty?” His jaw locked tight, and then it was like an avalanche, a ball of ice tripping over itself as it grew and grew through its journey down the mountain. “You know they suggested you, right? They talked about you as if you were just a means to an end. What kind of skills you brought to the table. Did you have enough experience under your belt? Were you mature enough to take this on? What about real battle scenarios? Did they think you could handle that? Did you have enough first-hand experience, more so than the others involved? It was like you were just a thing they had to make plans with.”

  I struggled for breath. Not because I didn’t understand why they said those things, but because I’d never seen Christian so overcome with emotion. He was usually the serious, level-headed one. I reached up to cup his face and he backed away.

  “Forget it. I know you agree with them. There’s some sick part of you that thinks what they’re doing is okay, but I’m not okay with that and it doesn’t matter to me if you are as good as they say you are—as I really believe you are—I don’t want you anywhere near that place. I don’t care if you were the best warrior we had, I wouldn’t want you anywhere near there. You’re more important to me than anything else, and that’s what matters to me. My brothers and I already lost one stem to our group.” He took my arm and pulled it taught, his fingers grazing over my tattooed upper arm and shoulder, at the vines there that crisscrossed and interwove like one couldn’t live without the other if it tried. “We can’t lose another.”

  My mouth went dry. I stared at his touch, at his thin, spindly fingers that gripped me with such force, but love all at the same time, that my breath was taken away. Jake would’ve been apart of us. He was taken away too early, I’d always thought that, especially from me. I wasn’t going to let another part of us leave. “I—I don’t know what to say, Christian. We don’t really have a say in things right now. We don’t know what’s going to happen. All we can do is take it hour by hour. I don’t know what will happen with T.J.’s fight. I don’t know who they’re going to choose, but I do know that right now, we still have one another and I’m not going to spend it worrying about something that could be. Just don’t leave my side, okay? Let’s all just stay together, until…”

  Christian looked up. His blue-gray eyes a steely blue, like liquid mercury. He took a step forward, and on instinct, I took one back. He stalked me until my back hit the bedroom door. He was in full-on vampire mode, a creature of the night. I wasn’t scared. Intimidated, maybe, by his prowl, but not scared.

  “You won’t leave us.”

  I shook my head, my hands flat against the wood door behind me. “I won’t leave you.”

  “You promise.”

  “I promise.”

  His stare held me in place. His arms wove around my back until I was lifted in the air, my thighs settling around his hips. He rocked into me and I gasped.

  There was so much to do, but this was where our focus should be. On one another, in case the world did crumble beneath us.

  “We don’t have a lot of time,” he breathed out, his hot breath caressing my neck. I lifted my chin to give him ample room. His fangs teased my skin as a roll of pleasure doused me.

  “I don’t need a lot of time.”

  “They’re waiting for us,” he said, his lips smoothing over my skin.

  In answer, I reached between us and slipped the button through his pants and pulled the zipper down. The clothing fell to the floor.

  He groaned, his hips arching up to meet mine. Immediately, I wished I hadn’t gotten dressed after my encounter with Connor. It would be so easy for him just to slip inside me right now if I weren’t wearing anything. I pushed against him. “Please.”

  Within a few moments, I felt the air from the room slide against my exposed parts. I looked down to find both my pants and panties on the floor next to Christian. I couldn’t help the smile that overtook my face. “Reason number one-forty-three why I love that you’re a vampire.” I swallowed. “I need you inside me.”

  Christian’s jaw hardened right before he rolled his hips into mine. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he entered me, every inch more pleasurable than the last. He reached around and held my ass to him as he pulled in and out, his movements rubbing against my sensitive nub with every stroke. He stepped away from the door an leaned me back, my head resting against the wood as his hand crept up my stomach and under my bra to fondle my breasts. This was too perfect. Every touch was like fire. I’d been right when I said I didn’t need a lot of time. I needed like no time. Sometimes just his looks were smoldering, but with his precise movements, he could play my body right into submission.

  I clenched my muscles and Christian nearly choked. “I hope you’re close because I’m nearly undone. As if you weren’t tight enough.”

  I bared down harder, loving the way it felt. They could always turn me to Jell-O, but to think that I could do that to them. I squeezed and squeezed until it became too much and I was clenching around him involuntarily, my heart in my throat and his name on my lips.

  Overcome, Christian stepped forward until he had the door to brace us as he came. He stared into my eyes the whole time, as if claiming me, reminding me of my promise, and I held onto it, keeping it close to my heart. There was no way I was letting this go. None.

  It was perfect bliss.

  Chapter Six

  The princes and I walked to the training room five across, me in the middle of Nicolai and Christian with Stephan and Connor flanking them. It was stupid, just a walk really to see
T.J. before he went out there and laid it on the line, but to me, it was more than that. It was a show of solidarity. A show that we weren’t hiding anymore. It was almost as if we didn’t care anymore. None of us had said anything out loud, but there wasn’t going to be any more relationship hiding. Not when we knew who and what the real enemy was. What could they do to us now with the threat of death surrounding us? We were one, and we were letting it out there for everyone to see.

  It was refreshing, and new, and even though the setting was dismal and fear still twisted my gut, I felt a sense of empowerment as we walked into the training room. Lex and Samuel were there with T.J., along with Gregor who waited by the door. He had an uncharacteristic sheen of sweat over his forehead, and it didn’t look like it was just there because of stress, because we were about to have the first battle that counted for so much, but his chest rose and fell as if he were tired from exertion. I smiled fondly at him, and he nodded his head once toward me before the princes broke off to speak with him and I kept moving forward to the other group.

  I bit my lip as I got closer, not knowing what to say to someone who could very well be dead within a few minutes. That was only a fleeting thought though, something I really didn’t focus on. If T.J. couldn’t survive, we were all screwed. I had more faith in him than I had in myself. He was a tremendous guard.

  To my surprise, however, when I moved forward, the group was laughing. Samuel stood back a little but T.J. and Lex’s shoulders were rolling with laughter. “Hey,” I said, looking from one to the other. Other than the fact that they looked delirious, I wasn’t really sure what to make of them.

  “Hey,” T.J. said, trying his best to regain control.

  Lex did the same as well, straightening her shoulders and looking over at me with a fond smile. “Here to wish our boy good luck?”